Quimet dies, who else cheered?

I enjoyed the time of the doves. I thought the writing was nice and although I don’t typically enjoy stream of consciousness, Natalia’s narration was wonderful and incredible. I felt like I was there, along with her to witness her life.

For the entire first half of the book, I spent the entire time being pissed off at Quimet's behaviour and general existence. I can’t stand this guy, everything he says and does annoys me. I hate this guy so much. When he got mad at Natalia because he THOUGHT he saw her hanging out with her ex, genuinely made me question his sanity. Is he ok? Is he having hallucinations? He was never concerned with whether Natalia was okay or not, just always looking out for his own selfish interests, being the doves of course. LIKE MATE YOUR WIFE IS MISERABLE, SHE’S GOING INSANE BECAUSE OF THESE DOVES BRO. LOCK IN. Like honestly I’m surprised Natalia stayed with this buffoon, even after the story his mum told her about when he was a kid ruining the mum’s garden (I think, I don’t remember the details). It was so frustrating, girl you are married to the literal devil. Truly number 1 empathetic guy of all times. He never cleaned up after himself, and he made his friend and wife do all the work when they were fixing the house up??? Also made his wife who gave birth paint the dovecote???

The scene where she bumps into Pere and he actually calls her by her name made me incredibly upset. No one was calling her by her given name but by the nickname her husband gave her after the doves he mistreats must have felt so dehumanising to her. She barely even felt like a person, but like a husk of her former self. It was so 🙁. I’m glad he died, but that left her and the kids in such a difficult situation.

At night when she contemplated and even decided on taking her kids lives along with her own, it was genuinely heartbreaking. The descriptions of how thin the kids were and how she had to send Toni away for a bit. It served as a reminder of how cruel war truly is, and how she had gotten to the point of stealing chlorine to kill her kids. I’m glad she was able to get out of that situation with the help of Antoni. He was so sweet, he truly cared for her and her kids. I was so glad he stepped in!!! He’s also the father that stepped up😭!! Shout out goat!! He also didn’t treat her like a maid or like an object, fuck you Quimet.

I also want to briefly mention Mateu because I really liked him, he was nice to Natalia and they were quite close. He was quite sensitive, and he was also a real yearner!!!

Discussion: with all the things Toni did as a kid, did anyone else think he’d be a little fucked up when he grew up or are all babies evil like that?

Black Shack Alley

There were many aspects of this book that made me extremely sad. The discussion regarding colonialism and segregation was important, it was used to paint a picture to show what growing up under a setting like that was rather than to make a point (?). I mean there was obviously still a point being made.

In the very first part of the book we are introduced to M’man Tine and Jose’s relationship. It’s very sweet, we see just how much M’man Tine cares for Jose and how tirelessly she works to be able to provide Jose with a good life or rather to provide him the tools he will need to get ahead in life. Jose’s guilt he feels when it comes to M’man Tine’s workload and sacrifice is something I can understand. Obviously I am extremely privileged to even have the opportunity to be here, but my parents have worked their entire lives for me to even get to this point and sometimes I wonder if I can ever truly pay them back. Filial piety has always been important in my culture and has always been the ultimate goal of my life in many ways. The work that I am doing makes me feel like I am not doing nearly enough as I could be. I’m sure this is a common sentiment for people.

The chapter that dealt with Medouze’s death was also interesting. Being a kid at that age not knowing or rather not fully understanding and seeing the wildly differing reactions from other people, not knowing how to react or which is the appropriate reaction was also something that was relatable. I’ve had the gift of never having to experience when I was young enough to not understand what was going on. I think after this point Jose was at the point where his situation forced him to grow up. Especially because after this M’man Tine falls ill and he realises just how much her presence in his life meant to him. 

 Another topic I wanted to talk about was discipline and love, and beatings as a form of punishment. Discipline is different culturally but beatings being used as discipline never sat right with me, even though it was engrained into my culture. However recently I saw a video of a white guy talking about how it was the only thing that white people did right which was like I guess just not taking it and cutting off your family, which struck a cord with me? I don’t know, it made me feel a certain way. While reading this book and reading about all the injuries and beatings Jose took was really heartbreaking.

Agostino - this was extremely uncomfortable

After finishing this book, all I can say is that it made me so uncomfortable. The weird incestual undertones were so strange. The Oedipus complex truly was strong with this one, and also why would the mom do all that with her son there...

I had a big issue with Homs, and the way his character was treated. Being the only black boy there and the emphasis on how he was black just rubbed me the wrong way. Also the way the others treat him too. 

I was suspicious of the relationship between him and his mother from the beginning and I genuinely don’t know what to think, as in it sort of felt weird and incestuous but I’m not totally sure. At times, his mom is totally normal and does motherly things, but because I’m reading from Agostino’s viewpoint I cannot tell. Maybe I’m actually imagining things and making shit up. Like, I genuinely cannot imagine why you would decide to fool around in the water with a man while your son is watching on a boat. I don’t think that’s normal or okay but what do I know I guess. The way Agostino describes things probably is the reasoning behind why I think the mother is also a part of the problem.

I think the themes of alienation (sorta) and growing up sort of spoke to me the most? His mother’s relationship with the young man pushed him away from her and led to him hanging out with the boys and Saro (fuck you Saro, die). The boys don’t really seem to think of him as one of them as his social standing differs greatly. Agostino can’t really go back to hanging out with the other wealthy kids after hanging with the boys as he feels he’s been changed too much perhaps? Or does he think he’s grown up more after hanging around with them? I feel like he doesn’t really have someone he can truly confide in. 

I wanna pop my discussion question in here: 

At what point in an individual’s life do they become an adult (or a “man/woman”) ?

I don’t really understand Agostino’s desire to become a man. I’m also not sure what ties virginity to growing up. I’m an adult according to the law, but I don’t really feel like one yet and I honestly don’t feel like I’ve really grown up at all. At what point did Agostino become a man? Can he share some tips for becoming an adult? 

On second thought, I don’t want advice from this guy.

Why can't everyone be normal?

The Shrouded Woman - Maria Luisa Bombal

This week's book was such a fun read, it felt like a breath of fresh air after the last 2! It was super simple and entertaining. I would not wish the amount of shit she goes through on anyone.

The book starts off immediately at her funeral and throughout the book we follow Ana as she recounts her life and various significant moments in her life concerning the people around her. We start off with her first love Ricardo, I honestly thought the memories between the two of them were sort of cute and intimate! Compared to the rest of the people that Ana Maria will meet throughout her life, I don’t think he’s a bad guy. Also I just want to express my deepest love and admiration to Zoila throughout the book. She was truly Ana’s rock throughout the entirety of her life! From raising her to supporting her through the turbulent times in her life. Shoutout to Zoila! 

Everyone in this book was weird. Why can’t these people be normal? The chapter surrounding her children and Maria Griselda was so off-putting and strange. Why can’t anyone be normal about her! Also like her kids kind of suck. Alberto sucks because he mistreats his wife because of his own insecurities. Fred sucks because he can’t fucking lie to his wife. Anita, I am just disappointed because girl, please do better. I know that she’s like an otherworldly beauty and it’s borderline magical, but like Fred, you can lie to protect your wife’s feelings. It's okay. ALSO just the concept of writing poems about your brother’s wife is so messy. I just feel so bad for the women, they deserve so much better! Especially Maria Griselda, being held captive because of your own husband is horrible.

Speaking of husbands being horrible Antonio, at first It was just unfortunate what happened between the two of them. Poor timing all around, but as the book progresses on, this guy is actually just the worst. The way he talked about Marta??? Pack it up buddy. The way he and Sofia went behind her back! Honestly, I quite like Sofia. I thought she was super funny, I’m not gonna justify anything she’s done. However, to frame it like that was so funny. “No bestie, I didn’t betray you! Kissing and hanging out with him felt like it was an extension of your company!” Which first of all if that’s true, that’s gay as hell. Second, what sort of mental gymnastics did you do to get to that rationalisation. I had high hopes when I started that part, but good things never last😭.

When Ana Maria talks about Antonio, she says to herself “One must be wise in matters of love.” I think that is a lesson that everyone in this book needs to learn like right now.

Has anyone ever been wise when it comes to love? To me love isn't something you can calculate and be prepared for. It's always raw and passionate.💓

Nadja - I think I hate how French people write

First of all, I just want to say this was an easier read than Proust! However, I still did not like the form of writing very much??? I don't know what my deal is, or what the French authors' deals are. Maybe it just wasn't meant to be</3

I remember last week, "the term manic pixie dream girl" was brought up and used to describe Nadja. I can see now how that rings true. Most typically, these characters are written to accompany a boring, depressed dude with issues. I think that is still true in this book. However, in most media, I feel that the man in question will be infatuated with the woman (e.g., The Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, 500 Days of Summer, and so on). I may be wrong, as I hate watching movies. This time, that was not the case at all.

Andre seems to acknowledge this on page 90, "Is it unforgivable of me to go on seeing her if I do not love her? Do I love her?" Obviously not, mate! I hate how he talks about himself concerning his and Nadja's relationship. He always frames himself as a grand figure in Nadja's life, akin to a god, and it's just disturbing. He is aware of how much he means to her, and that's how you frame it??? Andre is also aware that Nadja is clearly not the most mentally stable person, and still chooses to continue being involved with her. Like, he clearly has some strange voyeuristic tendency, no?

On top of that, he has a wife! Does she know about this? 😭😭😭 I just feel extremely sad for Nadja, she's gotten attached to this man who doesn't seem to love her and is only really in it to watch her as if she's some sort of strange specimen. She also calls his wife to express she has no one she's close to, which is also crazy because you've been fooling around with her husband. I think that truly shows the extent of how alone she was. 

On a more positive note, I loved how there were images in the book! Especially Nadja's drawings, they were really interesting and they added a lot more immersion to the book. I liked being able to actually see what he was talking about. The drawings were also beautiful, which made me want to ask:

Were the aforementioned works actually drawn by Nadja? I know the book is semi-autobiographical, so I would assume so but I'm just curious!

HE'S JUST LIKE ME FR

It was a bit difficult for me to get into the groove of this book at first. It felt sort of personal reading this. I know we were reading from the narrator's point of view, but I felt like I was somewhere I wasn't supposed to be. Maybe that's just me. When he was first describing what I assumed was a wet dream, it was like ok, wtf 😭😭😭 Proust's vivid descriptions of the narrator's surroundings were wonderful, and I was able to fully imagine the scenes as if they were playing out right in front of my eyes. At times, it was easy to get lost. I feel like his writing style does not help with that lol. I feel like I've missed a lot of details or just straight up did not conceptualise what was happening.

Moving on to more important things, I wasn't expecting the book to be the narrator (probably Proust) just reminiscing. The first chapter really touched my heart. I don't know how I feel about somewhat relating to this character. His relationship with his mother and his anxiety were both things that spoke to me. Maybe not to the same extent. The writing in these scenes was so tender and soft, it made me miss my mom. The lengths the narrator went to get his mother to come kiss him goodnight were dramatic and silly, but it's also something I would have done. I wouldn't want to go out and ask. I, too, would send a note. I've always been a neurotic and anxious person. I remember crying for my mom because I was so scared of going places alone and having to talk to strangers. Except it's worse because I wasn't even that young, I was like 17. I think she realised something was wrong then. I remember her comforting me and asking me what was wrong. I felt a sense of relief knowing that she knew that something wasn't right, but I felt extremely guilty because a part of her would blame herself for me turning out this way. 

When his mother stayed with him all throughout the night, reading to him and comforting him with a soft and gentle voice, it really hit! 

There were also two stand out lines that made my heart break. "my sadness was regarded no longer a punishable offense" and "I could cry without sin" It's horrible that a child should feel this way! To be punished for having a strong emotional response is abhorrent. I think it would have negative long lasting effects on a person, maybe even emotionally stunt them. (common sense hello)

Question: Were there any rituals or routines you felt the need to do as a kid? If so how did it make you feel when you were unable to?

Nana's Introduction ;D

intro for rmst 202!!

Hello! My name is Nana :) I'm 20 and a second-year philosophy student. I'm an international student who has come a long way from home, not in terms of self-improvement, just in terms of distance, unfortunately! I'm from Mongolia, which is sandwiched between Russia and China; it's honestly a fuckass place. I don't mind Vancouver, it's an okay city. I do miss home at times, especially the weather. It snows a lot back home, and the weather is extremely cold. In Vancouver, it just rains a lot, which is fine. However, after a while of my long pants getting wet and nasty, it's just tiring. Sure, I'm partly to blame for not looking at the weather app before deciding what to wear.  

I kind of lost the plot back there! I’m not really that interesting a person lol. I like reading, which is partly why I’m taking this course. I like doodling, music (post-punk, rock, metal, etc.) and journaling. I try to journal consistently, but it never works out. I only end up journaling when I’m feeling upset, which ends up with a lot of my entries being extremely dramatic and emo, or just filled with pure rage. Video games are also an activity I enjoy partaking in, but I just don’t claim it as one because I’m not really good at any of the ones I play. People always say that you don’t have to be good at your hobbies, but I don't know if anyone really believes that. It’s also difficult to say that because I’ve spent so much of my life playing some of these games, and I’m still horrid. To give further ammunition against myself, the games I play aren’t even hard. It’s Minecraft…

It’s really shameful, because I wake up and the first thing I think about is playing Minecraft.

Anyway, apart from the first reason why I took this course, the other reason is that a friend recommended it to me. I’ve been in love with reading since I was a little kid. At night, I would read under the covers using my shitty Nokia as a light source. It might be the reason why my eyesight is so bad. I wanted to broaden my horizons a bit, I feel that I always limit myself to Eastern European literature and recently Central European! I love reading classical literature, as pretentious as that sounds</3

An interesting point was raised in class about feeling stupid when reading literature, it’s a feeling that I relate to heavily, not just within literature but life in general. Especially when it comes to my studies though, I always feel like I need to conform to this idea of what people think arts majors are like. Using complicated verbiage and being able to write essays effortlessly, I often feel inadequate compared to the people in my classes. I talk like a 12 year old and its like damn</3 Maybe I’m reading these complicated works to compensate for my lack of intelligence.