conclusion!!!!!!!!!!!

It's so hard to believe that the term is almost over!! I feel like I'm not ready for it to end yet</3 There are still so many books I wanna read and post about lol!! Lots more I wanna complain about!!! At some point during the class I was waiting for a book that would make me feel happy instead of despair and frustration, but none of them made me feel that way. I still want to go to weekly discussions and hear other people’s interpretation of the reading and how it made them feel. Hearing other people’s perspectives was extremely interesting, all of their input was super valuable.

I’d sort of fallen behind on reading all my books, and this class got me back into the habit of reading again!! I can get through like multiple books in a day and it’s so fun. I’d been lying to myself, telling myself I had no time to read outside of class but that was not true. I had just been lying to myself!! 

My favourite works so far have been “The Trenchcoat”, “Money to Burn”. And “The Shrouded Woman”. All of these books were fascinating, these 3 in particular spoke to me. Money to Burn had the most fun and interesting characters and plotline. The Shrouded Woman was so fun to read, a lot of it was super dramatic if it felt like a soap opera! Even if I didn’t understand some things it was still fun to read. It was full of infuriating characters that the main character knew in her life, so it was bad.

With Money to Burn, the characters were so unapologetically themselves with no regard for what the general public seems to think. The action in the book is simply wonderful, I had never read about an action sequence that was so entertaining.

I’ve been extremely satisfied with this course's reading list and I’m glad to have discovered new writers and old ones. All the books in this course were brand new and unfamiliar to me, I’m glad to have broadened my horizons. A lot of works that are considered literature a lot of the time are very eurocentric! I’m glad to have read masterpieces from places other than Europe!  I even feel like giving Proust another try at some point, maybe I won’t hate it. 

I had such an awesome time in this course and I’m gonna miss it lots! Thank you so much Professor Jon, Julián and Daniel! You guys were so awesome!!!!!

Love Me Tender

Reading “Love Me Tender” was a very interesting experience. The writing felt a bit similar to “The Book of Chameleons” in that some of the chapters are extremely short and the narration is simple to understand.

I like that Constance decided to live her life as authentically as she possibly could, not bending over for someone else’s needs. She’s so very courageous for doing so but it sort of felt like something was lacking, and I feel maybe I am just saying that because society has made me believe that there is something else to be desired. Books and life don’t really need to be dramatic, sometimes it just felt as if Constance was just gliding through life rather than really enjoying it!! Everything just felt a bit dull.

A thing I found interesting is that she constantly compares herself to men and sort of does things that men stereotypically do. When it came to parenting and her relationship with Paul, she would compare herself to an absent father. Then her relationships with other women are sort of like how SOME men treat women. She’s completely emotionally absent but that’s technically fair because she seems to be that way with everything else. Then there’s the way she’ll talk about the women, she won’t bother remembering their names or the details of their life that they share with her. She treats them like a quick fuck and a place to stay because that’s really all they are to her. The way she treats these women is unfortunate. I won’t say that she doesn’t make an effort in all her relationships because she does to some extent for her son. She tries to perform so they would let her see her son, she throws out the books that supposedly reflected poorly on her character although near the end she ultimately decides that maybe the effort isn’t going to change anything and that it was okay to move on with her life.

Every mention of Laurent made me upset, the first few of his appearances when she tells him she’s into women and despite knowing that fact he still tries to initiate something with her just goes to show how inconsiderate and disrespectful he is 💀‼️Then going as far as to lying when he realises that she’s into women and making it so she can’t see her son is just horrible. This guy sucks‼️Poisoning a son against his mother💔. I guess it just goes to show how marginalised people will often be in the weaker position when it comes to formal and informal institutions. I was really hoping that Constance would be able to have a somewhat good relationship with her son, but maybe a lack of a relationship isn’t so bad when compared to active resentment.

Question: Do you think that she’s happy with the decisions she’s made or even happy with her life in general?

My Brilliant Friend

I picked this book because I saw that one of the main themes was friendship and recently I’d been thinking about friendship a lot and my own relationships with some of my friends and this was very interesting to read.

I feel like ever since I was a little kid, friendship is always shown as something that’s always super simple, easy to navigate and everyone just wants to support each other. I still hold that viewpoint no matter how naive it is, but as I grow older I feel like it isn’t true. It hasn’t been true for a while I think. My little pony lied to me</3

Lenu and Lila’s friendship is extremely confusing and messy, there’s a lot of envy involved. Especially on Lenu’s side, she has a slight inferiority complex when it comes to Lila. In academics and then a little later when it comes to looks. I quite relate to her character although I know it’s not a good thing! Sometimes it just sucks that your friends might be better at something than you even though it seems to you like they aren’t putting in nearly as much effort as you. A few years back I was extremely jealous of some of my friends because it seemed like no matter how many classes they’ve skipped and no matter how much I studied they just outperformed me. It wasn’t just in academics either but also social life as well. It’s interesting that Lenu simultaneously seems to sort of put Lila on a pedestal, in my opinion. It’s also hard to believe that she still considered Lila her friend after she tried to sabotage her so she wouldn’t be able to take the test. 

I feel bad for Lila, her family doesn’t want to support her and what she wants to do. Her brother Rino seems to be the only one advocating for her education. Her intellect could have taken her far in life but she’s constantly held back because of her family and her dada especially. Like who the hell throws their own daughter out the window??? Just a horrible guy. She’s jealous that Lenu has the opportunity to go to school and Lenu’s jealous that Lila can just wander around and live in her own world, even though that’s not the case at all. Lila is a much bolder and braver character than Lenu and I understand why Lenu would look up to her.

Question: Do you think this is a realistic depiction of what friendships tend to be like in real life?

identity crisis whilst reading this book 😭

I feel so confused 😔 I’m not entirely sure what just transpired in the book!! Something about identity I guess.

It’s really interesting to think about how much Jose gets wrapped up in this lie. At times it felt like he truly became the identity that was invented for him, and how much did he feel like it was true to his identity? Although by the end he seemed to have remembered his past, but his reaction to things and how easily he seemed to soak up all this knowledge he almost seems like clay, super malleable! But then he seemed to be aware of his past and of Angela possibly being his daughter. I’d imagine that would break the immersion quite a bit. He claims that this was all mainly a plot for revenge against Edmundo, but then why’d he get so sucked up into the identity of Jose? IDKKKK MAYBE I JUST DON’T GET IT!! 😭

I

When people change their identities, do they still feel like they are still who they used to be or do they strictly identify as their new selves? I feel like when people change their identities its normally because they’ve witnessed a horrible event of some sort, or they are extremely rich and powerful therefore having the ability to do so. Since I would assume it would be extremely difficult and costly! I don’t know. How often do people typically want to change their identity?

I guess similarly sometimes I think about reincarnation in a similar sense, I’d assume you’d be born into a different body and be a completely different person. It always makes me sad when I think about it, mainly because I’d be losing the relationships I’ve had with people. My mum would no longer be my mum, and I wouldn’t know any of my friends and whatnot. Maybe it’s childish!! It’s not the same but it's still regarding identity I figure.

It’s also strange that people would want a very interesting or rich background, I mean once I remember that the people doing this are rich it makes more sense. Logically, the more common it is, it would be easier to get away with! Literally no one would bat an eye, but if its such an extravagant backstory I feel like a lot of people would be suspicious or maybe curious. One bad lie and it’s kinda over isn’t it?

Question: How can one know which aspects of yourself are really true?

should I burn my loonie?

The book started off very suddenly, in media res. Descriptions of characters and details of the heist. Introducing the characters, names and nicknames. It was all very confusing here, I found it hard to keep track of who was who and what exactly was happening which I imagine what a bank heist must feel like. Confusing and hard to keep track of, maybe it was just me because I found it difficult to understand the first chapter of the book. I thought the heist was a bit clumsy and disorganised! There were a lot of names being thrown around, even near the end of the book, they’d tell me all the names of the officers who went into the building and whatnot.

It was a very interesting read though, I like the way it was written, switching between narration to text that’s almost written like a report. Giving specific timestamps of what had happened and the policemen who had lost their lives! It was very unique. Though at times I felt myself wanting to gloss over some of the action towards  the end because I really just wanted to see the characters interact and speak to each other. 

I found the relationship between Kid and Guacho to be very touching. Their closeness being described as needing no words to understand each other, is very sweet. Something like a comfortable silence, not feeling the need to converse for long amounts of time but rather just enjoying each other’s presence. It was super heartbreaking that Kid died in Guacho’s arms!! Then after Guacho’s thought are all longing for Kid again</33333

The opening quote is a quote from The Threepenny Opera. The main message of that play was that under capitalism everything becomes a commodity. The founding of a bank does way more harm than a robbery, that thousands are going to be exploited. The crowd’s reaction to the burning of  the cash was extremely interesting. I had thought that because this all happened due to money, they’d assume “oh money is the cause of all this chaos” but no! They claim that the money was innocent. The action of them burning the money was what set in stone for these people that these criminals were never to be redeemed. Do we as a society tie our worth to how much capital we can generate? In The Threepenny Opera, Macheath’s crimes are a result of capitalism. The corrupt system lets him out time and time again, no one cares about justice or humanity under capitalism. He grows up poor and he comes to the realisation that through the exploitation of others he can generate wealth. In Piglia’s novel some of these characters are from well off families (Kid) so it really makes me question their motives. I’m under the assumption that they’d been cast out and so they turned to a life of crime.

Question: Can we imagine a life outside capitalism anymore? and what would it look like?

we are all one bad day away from becoming conspiracy theorists

This entire weekend I've had a horrible headache, so some of the writing might have escaped me. The way the characters acted in the book sort of reflected what people in my grandparents and parents days used to be like whilst under Soviet intervention. Avoiding talking about politics and such out of fear that someone would be listening, and would get them in trouble.

In the story we see that the characters only seem to have extremely surface level and shallow conversations. Ioana shows up because she feels like it's required rather than to form a genuine connection. She reflects on the lack of community in her life, the paranoia that the people you know might turn against you is prevalent during these times. Government surveillance is extremely isolating and you can only truly depend on yourself and maybe your partner. The state surveillance tears communities apart, at every turn and interaction it could be a trap. In Mongolia, it was the same, you could accuse your neighbours and get rewarded so it only increased the number of innocent people suffering at the hands of the government. My dad told me a story a while ago of when he was a kid. He was playing outside and he called a politician stupid or something, no deeper meaning behind it really because he was just a kid and didn’t really understand what was going on. My grandparents hurriedly came outside, sat him down and told him to never say things like that again. If they had been caught perhaps they would have lost their jobs and been unable to take care of their children or even worse, thrown in jail. I think about that sometimes.

The trenchcoat showing up in Dina’s home just made me think how deep the paranoia and surveillance goes, even in your own home you might not feel safe and comfortable. Even nowadays, I am always super paranoid that my devices are used for surveillance. Although I guess it's not too far off, I love giving my private information to billionaires! The trenchcoat might not even represent the secret police but maybe the presence of it being a source of anxiety and paranoia is the point. IDK!! 

It was interesting seeing how some of the characters don’t have names, just “the kid”, “the learned one” and whatnot. Why is that? These characters are stripped of any sort of characteristic that would make them seem like actual people, they are just reduced to whatever purpose they serve in this story. Or maybe to the state, they aren’t really people at all? Maybe I am making things up!!!

What do you guys think the trenchcoat represents? and what do you think about the characters not being named? :0

fool me once, shame on me, fool me 5 times, also shame on me

    

Currently writing this blog on the skytrain back after spending 70 dollars on legos💔😿

    I lowkey got clickbaited by the title, it sounded really beautiful. After finishing this reading I can say that this book by far has been my least favourite ever and I wish I could go back and pick the other option. Calvino has a very unique writing style and I fear it is just not for me. The beginning of the book already sort of ticked me off for no good reason, sit down get comfortable whatever💀. Maybe it felt like I was being told what to do, the entire thing was just super quirky in a bad way. In the first chapter it forced the reader into the perspective of the main character which was fine. I still struggled to think of it as myself though, I do not know what exactly made it so I was unable to connect with the narrator but there was a large distance between us. The narrator also constantly did things that I probably would not have done, this perspective was being forced onto me 😭😭🙏🙏. Like I think sometimes when they told me how to feel it was actually kinda cool, it felt like a warning as to what’s to come because I’m an absent-minded person.

    Although I did like that the stories that the narrator, or rather we, read had no endings! It kept me on my toes, but near the end it did get a bit frustrating. It was interesting to see, I don’t know how much this happens in publishing or like “formal literature” but sort of made me think of fanfiction and how often it goes uncompleted even though a lot of the ones I've read were quite enjoyable. Or even shows on streaming websites that get cancelled before they can reach a conclusion, but that’s a different concern. I think you can still enjoy things that are incomplete, honestly it leaves a lot of room for imagination and creativity, but I do understand the frustration. I don’t know why time after time I let myself get into the different stories only for it to end abruptly.

    I think the book overall was way too meta for me 😔, at times it was confusing and I just hated the way he wrote, I’m sorry Italo Calvino. I also think due to that I wasn’t able to understand this book like at all or at least enough to give interesting commentary💀.

    Question: Were you guys able to fully immerse yourselves into the role of “you”? And if so drop your tips and comments down below cause god knows I need it💀

Quimet dies, who else cheered?

I enjoyed the time of the doves. I thought the writing was nice and although I don’t typically enjoy stream of consciousness, Natalia’s narration was wonderful and incredible. I felt like I was there, along with her to witness her life.

For the entire first half of the book, I spent the entire time being pissed off at Quimet's behaviour and general existence. I can’t stand this guy, everything he says and does annoys me. I hate this guy so much. When he got mad at Natalia because he THOUGHT he saw her hanging out with her ex, genuinely made me question his sanity. Is he ok? Is he having hallucinations? He was never concerned with whether Natalia was okay or not, just always looking out for his own selfish interests, being the doves of course. LIKE MATE YOUR WIFE IS MISERABLE, SHE’S GOING INSANE BECAUSE OF THESE DOVES BRO. LOCK IN. Like honestly I’m surprised Natalia stayed with this buffoon, even after the story his mum told her about when he was a kid ruining the mum’s garden (I think, I don’t remember the details). It was so frustrating, girl you are married to the literal devil. Truly number 1 empathetic guy of all times. He never cleaned up after himself, and he made his friend and wife do all the work when they were fixing the house up??? Also made his wife who gave birth paint the dovecote???

The scene where she bumps into Pere and he actually calls her by her name made me incredibly upset. No one was calling her by her given name but by the nickname her husband gave her after the doves he mistreats must have felt so dehumanising to her. She barely even felt like a person, but like a husk of her former self. It was so 🙁. I’m glad he died, but that left her and the kids in such a difficult situation.

At night when she contemplated and even decided on taking her kids lives along with her own, it was genuinely heartbreaking. The descriptions of how thin the kids were and how she had to send Toni away for a bit. It served as a reminder of how cruel war truly is, and how she had gotten to the point of stealing chlorine to kill her kids. I’m glad she was able to get out of that situation with the help of Antoni. He was so sweet, he truly cared for her and her kids. I was so glad he stepped in!!! He’s also the father that stepped up😭!! Shout out goat!! He also didn’t treat her like a maid or like an object, fuck you Quimet.

I also want to briefly mention Mateu because I really liked him, he was nice to Natalia and they were quite close. He was quite sensitive, and he was also a real yearner!!!

Discussion: with all the things Toni did as a kid, did anyone else think he’d be a little fucked up when he grew up or are all babies evil like that?

Black Shack Alley

There were many aspects of this book that made me extremely sad. The discussion regarding colonialism and segregation was important, it was used to paint a picture to show what growing up under a setting like that was rather than to make a point (?). I mean there was obviously still a point being made.

In the very first part of the book we are introduced to M’man Tine and Jose’s relationship. It’s very sweet, we see just how much M’man Tine cares for Jose and how tirelessly she works to be able to provide Jose with a good life or rather to provide him the tools he will need to get ahead in life. Jose’s guilt he feels when it comes to M’man Tine’s workload and sacrifice is something I can understand. Obviously I am extremely privileged to even have the opportunity to be here, but my parents have worked their entire lives for me to even get to this point and sometimes I wonder if I can ever truly pay them back. Filial piety has always been important in my culture and has always been the ultimate goal of my life in many ways. The work that I am doing makes me feel like I am not doing nearly enough as I could be. I’m sure this is a common sentiment for people.

The chapter that dealt with Medouze’s death was also interesting. Being a kid at that age not knowing or rather not fully understanding and seeing the wildly differing reactions from other people, not knowing how to react or which is the appropriate reaction was also something that was relatable. I’ve had the gift of never having to experience when I was young enough to not understand what was going on. I think after this point Jose was at the point where his situation forced him to grow up. Especially because after this M’man Tine falls ill and he realises just how much her presence in his life meant to him. 

 Another topic I wanted to talk about was discipline and love, and beatings as a form of punishment. Discipline is different culturally but beatings being used as discipline never sat right with me, even though it was engrained into my culture. However recently I saw a video of a white guy talking about how it was the only thing that white people did right which was like I guess just not taking it and cutting off your family, which struck a cord with me? I don’t know, it made me feel a certain way. While reading this book and reading about all the injuries and beatings Jose took was really heartbreaking.

Agostino - this was extremely uncomfortable

After finishing this book, all I can say is that it made me so uncomfortable. The weird incestual undertones were so strange. The Oedipus complex truly was strong with this one, and also why would the mom do all that with her son there...

I had a big issue with Homs, and the way his character was treated. Being the only black boy there and the emphasis on how he was black just rubbed me the wrong way. Also the way the others treat him too. 

I was suspicious of the relationship between him and his mother from the beginning and I genuinely don’t know what to think, as in it sort of felt weird and incestuous but I’m not totally sure. At times, his mom is totally normal and does motherly things, but because I’m reading from Agostino’s viewpoint I cannot tell. Maybe I’m actually imagining things and making shit up. Like, I genuinely cannot imagine why you would decide to fool around in the water with a man while your son is watching on a boat. I don’t think that’s normal or okay but what do I know I guess. The way Agostino describes things probably is the reasoning behind why I think the mother is also a part of the problem.

I think the themes of alienation (sorta) and growing up sort of spoke to me the most? His mother’s relationship with the young man pushed him away from her and led to him hanging out with the boys and Saro (fuck you Saro, die). The boys don’t really seem to think of him as one of them as his social standing differs greatly. Agostino can’t really go back to hanging out with the other wealthy kids after hanging with the boys as he feels he’s been changed too much perhaps? Or does he think he’s grown up more after hanging around with them? I feel like he doesn’t really have someone he can truly confide in. 

I wanna pop my discussion question in here: 

At what point in an individual’s life do they become an adult (or a “man/woman”) ?

I don’t really understand Agostino’s desire to become a man. I’m also not sure what ties virginity to growing up. I’m an adult according to the law, but I don’t really feel like one yet and I honestly don’t feel like I’ve really grown up at all. At what point did Agostino become a man? Can he share some tips for becoming an adult? 

On second thought, I don’t want advice from this guy.

Why can't everyone be normal?

The Shrouded Woman - Maria Luisa Bombal

This week's book was such a fun read, it felt like a breath of fresh air after the last 2! It was super simple and entertaining. I would not wish the amount of shit she goes through on anyone.

The book starts off immediately at her funeral and throughout the book we follow Ana as she recounts her life and various significant moments in her life concerning the people around her. We start off with her first love Ricardo, I honestly thought the memories between the two of them were sort of cute and intimate! Compared to the rest of the people that Ana Maria will meet throughout her life, I don’t think he’s a bad guy. Also I just want to express my deepest love and admiration to Zoila throughout the book. She was truly Ana’s rock throughout the entirety of her life! From raising her to supporting her through the turbulent times in her life. Shoutout to Zoila! 

Everyone in this book was weird. Why can’t these people be normal? The chapter surrounding her children and Maria Griselda was so off-putting and strange. Why can’t anyone be normal about her! Also like her kids kind of suck. Alberto sucks because he mistreats his wife because of his own insecurities. Fred sucks because he can’t fucking lie to his wife. Anita, I am just disappointed because girl, please do better. I know that she’s like an otherworldly beauty and it’s borderline magical, but like Fred, you can lie to protect your wife’s feelings. It's okay. ALSO just the concept of writing poems about your brother’s wife is so messy. I just feel so bad for the women, they deserve so much better! Especially Maria Griselda, being held captive because of your own husband is horrible.

Speaking of husbands being horrible Antonio, at first It was just unfortunate what happened between the two of them. Poor timing all around, but as the book progresses on, this guy is actually just the worst. The way he talked about Marta??? Pack it up buddy. The way he and Sofia went behind her back! Honestly, I quite like Sofia. I thought she was super funny, I’m not gonna justify anything she’s done. However, to frame it like that was so funny. “No bestie, I didn’t betray you! Kissing and hanging out with him felt like it was an extension of your company!” Which first of all if that’s true, that’s gay as hell. Second, what sort of mental gymnastics did you do to get to that rationalisation. I had high hopes when I started that part, but good things never last😭.

When Ana Maria talks about Antonio, she says to herself “One must be wise in matters of love.” I think that is a lesson that everyone in this book needs to learn like right now.

Has anyone ever been wise when it comes to love? To me love isn't something you can calculate and be prepared for. It's always raw and passionate.💓

Nadja - I think I hate how French people write

First of all, I just want to say this was an easier read than Proust! However, I still did not like the form of writing very much??? I don't know what my deal is, or what the French authors' deals are. Maybe it just wasn't meant to be</3

I remember last week, "the term manic pixie dream girl" was brought up and used to describe Nadja. I can see now how that rings true. Most typically, these characters are written to accompany a boring, depressed dude with issues. I think that is still true in this book. However, in most media, I feel that the man in question will be infatuated with the woman (e.g., The Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, 500 Days of Summer, and so on). I may be wrong, as I hate watching movies. This time, that was not the case at all.

Andre seems to acknowledge this on page 90, "Is it unforgivable of me to go on seeing her if I do not love her? Do I love her?" Obviously not, mate! I hate how he talks about himself concerning his and Nadja's relationship. He always frames himself as a grand figure in Nadja's life, akin to a god, and it's just disturbing. He is aware of how much he means to her, and that's how you frame it??? Andre is also aware that Nadja is clearly not the most mentally stable person, and still chooses to continue being involved with her. Like, he clearly has some strange voyeuristic tendency, no?

On top of that, he has a wife! Does she know about this? 😭😭😭 I just feel extremely sad for Nadja, she's gotten attached to this man who doesn't seem to love her and is only really in it to watch her as if she's some sort of strange specimen. She also calls his wife to express she has no one she's close to, which is also crazy because you've been fooling around with her husband. I think that truly shows the extent of how alone she was. 

On a more positive note, I loved how there were images in the book! Especially Nadja's drawings, they were really interesting and they added a lot more immersion to the book. I liked being able to actually see what he was talking about. The drawings were also beautiful, which made me want to ask:

Were the aforementioned works actually drawn by Nadja? I know the book is semi-autobiographical, so I would assume so but I'm just curious!

HE'S JUST LIKE ME FR

It was a bit difficult for me to get into the groove of this book at first. It felt sort of personal reading this. I know we were reading from the narrator's point of view, but I felt like I was somewhere I wasn't supposed to be. Maybe that's just me. When he was first describing what I assumed was a wet dream, it was like ok, wtf 😭😭😭 Proust's vivid descriptions of the narrator's surroundings were wonderful, and I was able to fully imagine the scenes as if they were playing out right in front of my eyes. At times, it was easy to get lost. I feel like his writing style does not help with that lol. I feel like I've missed a lot of details or just straight up did not conceptualise what was happening.

Moving on to more important things, I wasn't expecting the book to be the narrator (probably Proust) just reminiscing. The first chapter really touched my heart. I don't know how I feel about somewhat relating to this character. His relationship with his mother and his anxiety were both things that spoke to me. Maybe not to the same extent. The writing in these scenes was so tender and soft, it made me miss my mom. The lengths the narrator went to get his mother to come kiss him goodnight were dramatic and silly, but it's also something I would have done. I wouldn't want to go out and ask. I, too, would send a note. I've always been a neurotic and anxious person. I remember crying for my mom because I was so scared of going places alone and having to talk to strangers. Except it's worse because I wasn't even that young, I was like 17. I think she realised something was wrong then. I remember her comforting me and asking me what was wrong. I felt a sense of relief knowing that she knew that something wasn't right, but I felt extremely guilty because a part of her would blame herself for me turning out this way. 

When his mother stayed with him all throughout the night, reading to him and comforting him with a soft and gentle voice, it really hit! 

There were also two stand out lines that made my heart break. "my sadness was regarded no longer a punishable offense" and "I could cry without sin" It's horrible that a child should feel this way! To be punished for having a strong emotional response is abhorrent. I think it would have negative long lasting effects on a person, maybe even emotionally stunt them. (common sense hello)

Question: Were there any rituals or routines you felt the need to do as a kid? If so how did it make you feel when you were unable to?

Nana's Introduction ;D

intro for rmst 202!!

Hello! My name is Nana :) I'm 20 and a second-year philosophy student. I'm an international student who has come a long way from home, not in terms of self-improvement, just in terms of distance, unfortunately! I'm from Mongolia, which is sandwiched between Russia and China; it's honestly a fuckass place. I don't mind Vancouver, it's an okay city. I do miss home at times, especially the weather. It snows a lot back home, and the weather is extremely cold. In Vancouver, it just rains a lot, which is fine. However, after a while of my long pants getting wet and nasty, it's just tiring. Sure, I'm partly to blame for not looking at the weather app before deciding what to wear.  

I kind of lost the plot back there! I’m not really that interesting a person lol. I like reading, which is partly why I’m taking this course. I like doodling, music (post-punk, rock, metal, etc.) and journaling. I try to journal consistently, but it never works out. I only end up journaling when I’m feeling upset, which ends up with a lot of my entries being extremely dramatic and emo, or just filled with pure rage. Video games are also an activity I enjoy partaking in, but I just don’t claim it as one because I’m not really good at any of the ones I play. People always say that you don’t have to be good at your hobbies, but I don't know if anyone really believes that. It’s also difficult to say that because I’ve spent so much of my life playing some of these games, and I’m still horrid. To give further ammunition against myself, the games I play aren’t even hard. It’s Minecraft…

It’s really shameful, because I wake up and the first thing I think about is playing Minecraft.

Anyway, apart from the first reason why I took this course, the other reason is that a friend recommended it to me. I’ve been in love with reading since I was a little kid. At night, I would read under the covers using my shitty Nokia as a light source. It might be the reason why my eyesight is so bad. I wanted to broaden my horizons a bit, I feel that I always limit myself to Eastern European literature and recently Central European! I love reading classical literature, as pretentious as that sounds</3

An interesting point was raised in class about feeling stupid when reading literature, it’s a feeling that I relate to heavily, not just within literature but life in general. Especially when it comes to my studies though, I always feel like I need to conform to this idea of what people think arts majors are like. Using complicated verbiage and being able to write essays effortlessly, I often feel inadequate compared to the people in my classes. I talk like a 12 year old and its like damn</3 Maybe I’m reading these complicated works to compensate for my lack of intelligence.